Experience Project

Becky Romero on the Experience ProjectThe Experience Project was a free social media site that operated until April 2017 for the purpose of helping people connect with others who understood and could empathize with common experiences.

I owe the staff and fellow members at EP an enormous debt of gratitude.

I joined EP in 2010 and because of the understanding and encouragement of other members and the friends I made there, I was finally able to open up about my shame. The shame that I had when I began to be regularly spanked on my bare bottom as a teenager by my stepdad and to publicly acknowledge it. As well as to admit that many members on EP were absolutely right to say that I was deserving of being punished and to feel ashamed since it was my actions alone that led to my panties coming down in front of whomever was present and witnessing me being punished.

EP helped changed some of my views on spanking. Not that I’d ever spank as a parent, but to acknowledge that it’s a legitimate parenting tool, yes even to spank bare bottom, so long as it’s no abusive. And to admit that I was often well deservedly of being spanked – even still am sometimes (blushes).

I still feel that how my stepdad treated and disciplined me was unjust and unfair. Spanking out of anger and for minor things. Not to mention the constant put-downs, hurtful name-callings, shouting and threats. But many pro-spanking parents took issue with my contention I shouldn’t have been spanked and once I acknowledged that my spankings weren’t illegal (meaning physically or mentally abusive) I basically had no argument to stand on. It just took a while for that to sink in.

Also, given that my younger brother was spanked for years for behavior I wasn’t spanked for, plus my guilt over it, meant in one sense my spankings, despite my embarrassment of being older and being spanked in front of anyone, in that way could be looked at as merely ‘late’ for my past misconduct. In other words, some pro-spanking parents in a way shamed me into admitting I really have no right to complain that much about them.

Yes, many have told me that they agreed my stepdad was a jerk because of his attitude as a whole. But that he still had the right to pull my panties down and spank me and that they’d have done the same thing, just sometimes differently in manner and setting. Some said they’d spank only privately, others said with more of a ritual to it until the whole family was present.

It took me a while to understand that, that being brought home especially by my aunt when I was in my mid 20s. That I was willing to submit to spankings by my aunt just as her teenage daughters was I think was partly because EP helped and influenced me to realize that, even then at 26, I wasn’t too old to have my panties pulled down for a disciplinary spanking – even with extended family present.

The bottom line? Most pro-spanking parents would have spanked me as a teen and even in my college years, perhaps just as often and perhaps causing just as much or even more embarrassment for me.

But perhaps most importantly, the discussions on EP were a therapy for me in a big way. As a teen I was way too ashamed to talk about it (being spanked on my bare bottom by my stepdad). Even in my college years, when he was no longer in my life.

But EP helped me to publicly acknowledge all the shame I’ve felt. And I think that’s helped me cope with it all.

Like my friend Belinda likes to say, “You can’t change the past. You can only live with it.”

Here are experiences in my life that I’ve shared with the EP community.

The Experience Project allowed its members to join groups, which often helped paint a picture of not only one’s lifetime experiences but of one’s values, beliefs and interests.

These are the groups I belonged to on the Experience Project, broken into categories I’ve defined.

EP allowed its members to ask questions of the community. These could range from political issues to favorite meals.

Here are the questions I presented on the Experience Project.

Finally, EP had an option for members to blog. It was later discontinued.

But while it existed, these were my blog posts on EP.

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